Thursday, November 5, 2015

Do I Really Want to Live to Be a Hundred??

I used to think living 100 years would be a thrilling milestone, the capstone to a fruitful life, an event to celebrate.  And for some it is.  My Baba lived to 100 and enjoyed the big party in her honor.  My grandfather's cousin made it, and my great-great-great grandmother was supposedly 103 when she died.

Yesterday and today I took a short road trip from NY where I'm already on vacation, to visit some elderly relatives in PA.  It's likely the last time I'll see them. 

My step-mom is nearly 95 and yesterday was the first time I had seen her in about 7 years.  She's still very much herself, but is now nearly blind, very hard of hearing, failing in memory, and living in a very nice care home, the same one where her sister lives.  On the plus side she gets around on her own using a walker, but only in the care home.  She's not capable of say, doing grocery shopping, even if someone provided transportation.  She repeated several times how she can't do anything because she can't see.  It's gotta be hard.

Today I stopped for an hour in another city to visit a distant cousin, an old lady I'm very fond of.  She's 92 and in a care home.  She's intelligent, smart (they are 2 different things), resourceful, has a great memory.  Physically she needs a wheelchair to get around because of a fall 2 years ago.  She explained that she uses Depends and detailed the science behind them for me (I'll file that away under "information I hope I never need to retrieve.")  Before I left I pushed her in her wheelchair to the dining room.  On the way she pointed out the room where the very debilitated patients are brought for their meals.  They have to be fed as they are far beyond doing anything for themselves.  I caught a glimpse through the doorway and was appalled by the condition of some of the folks in there.  Am pretty sure a few aren't even aware of their surroundings.

We have only so much power over our own health.  I would say that making the century mark probably isn't all it's cracked up to be.  One of my elderly relatives mentioned above kept saying she's ready to go.  The other talked about her funeral plans and how the funeral is to be paid for.  Neither one is chomping at the bit to make it to 100.

4 comments:

  1. My grandmother died last year at age 91. She was so ready to be with her Lord. It was a blessing for her to leave this world after a long life.

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    1. That's a very sweet thought Susanne. Death is a welcome relief after a long fruitful life.

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  2. My grandmother is 96 and has been bed ridden for a few years now. I'm like you Suzanne I also used to think living a very long time would be amazing. My other grandmother died at 68 and I remember being very angry that she missed all the cool things in my life (my marriage, the birth of my children, my graduation from college) and while I still think 68 is way too young I appreciate that when she died she was still in prime condition doing all the things she loved and while most of the people she loved were still alive. It seems so disheartening to end up alone by the fact that you've outlived all your friends and alone by the fact that you can no longer hear or see or drive making your participation in life much more limited. Sad thoughts for the day :(

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    1. Crys, one of those relatives did mention that there is no one, no friend or relative, who is left to socialize with. The only visitors she has are me, who lives 2500 miles away, and another distant cousin Bob, who lives about 800 miles away. Neither of us get there very often. She never married or had children. She's still got all her mental capacity and I hope she dies before that goes.

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